By Melissa Vasey
Despite hours of preparation and planning for the end of the world, nothing prepared me for having to pee. It seemed certain that urinating in my pants was mere moments away.
My roommate and I were sitting in our cold, dark basement, trying to get a feel for what a real emergency situation would be like. We had hunkered down a couple of hours before without considering the likelihood of requiring a bathroom break.
Melissa Vasey (left) and Justine Turner take cover in their basement with their 72-hour emergency supplies.
The tricky thing about emergencies is they’re unpredictable. Kamloops’ next disaster could be anything from a pandemic to an alien invasion, and it’s the lack of certainty that makes our next natural disaster unsettling. To help prepare just like the professionals do, I decided a mock apocalypse was in order.
Before I re-enacted the end of the world, I needed information. My first stop in emergency preparedness was at the central region’s Provincial Emergency Program (PEP) office to talk to Ginny Garner, the senior regional manager.
“Stay calm,” Garner advised, in the event of an emergency.
She explained the PEP works with a network of local, provincial and federal authorities to ensure emergency response runs as smoothly as possible. If the unexpected hits Kamloops, they’re prepared.
“Have faith and confidence in your governments,” Garner said. “The governments do have good plans. We have a good [emergency preparedness] structure in British Columbia.”
Armed with an array of brochures and good advice, I left the PEP office one step closer to the apocalypse.
On Garner’s advice, I educated myself about the most common hazards in British Columbia (PDF) and decided exactly what I wanted to put in my basic 72-hour emergency kit.
A trip to Canadian Tire and $100 later, I was closer to having a complete emergency kit. I left with an electromagnetic flashlight, a solar powered radio, matches, two cases of water, two sleeping bags, a first aid kit and 50 cents in Canadian Tire money.
The next stop was Superstore, where I picked up enough canned food to sustain my entire household, including two cats, for 72 hours.
After packing the supplies into a spare suitcase on wheels, I convinced my roommate, Justine Turner, to join me for the mock apocalypse. Once she agreed, it was time for a disaster.
I chose the basement as our emergency shelter and dragged the emergency kit down. The plan was simple — four hours, lights out, with nothing more than what was in the room.
I opened the suitcase immediately and groped until I found the electromagnetic flashlight. Shaking it 20 times charged the light and, as our dark surroundings lit up in LED glory, I found myself already feeling better about apocalypses.
Two minutes into our emergency, however, I noticed I was shivering and realized there were no warm clothes in my kit. Unrolling a sleeping bag, I wriggled my way in, already kicking myself for compromising my ability to move around.
After talking for 40 minutes about work and school, Justine stated the obvious: “The apocalypse is really boring.”
It was. We had severely underestimated our need for entertainment, even in dire life-or-death scenarios.
Justine perused the basement, looking for something to quell our boredom and came up with nothing. Then we remembered the radio. We tuned in and were delighted to pick up six stations — four music stations and two talk show programs, one of which was in French. Then we switched our FM to the weather band and listened to a man monotonously report various weather forecasts for the Thompson-Nicola Regional District.
In much better spirits, we decided to eat. Opening a can of beans, we encountered a new problem. No utensils. Reluctantly using our hands, we dipped our fingers in the cold, soggy food and tried our best to eat our meal with dignity.
It was shortly after we licked our hands clean that I confronted the severity of having to pee. I was crossing my legs and doing the pee dance when we finally agreed I would be allowed to leave the basement, on the condition that I went as quickly as possible.
In the event of an actual disaster, it’s uncertain whether we’d have access to our toilet or the great outdoors. We might be stuck in our basement. But for the purposes of hygiene and avoiding unnecessary health hazards (to say nothing of complete humiliation), I’ll leave urinating in the cat box for a real emergency.
We tried to nap when I returned, but the cement floor was uncomfortable and we were too edgy from the spooky shadows to sleep.
The conversation turned to politics and quickly soured because of our differing views. Irritated by one another, we fell silent and focused back on the radio. Unable to find a good song, we listened to the French channel.
At the three-hour mark, we forfeited and left the basement. Without a real emergency, we could no longer justify the suffering.
Amending the emergency kit, I added an old sweatshirt and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, as well as a plastic spoon. I then returned the kit to its place in the closet, where it will hopefully stay permanently.
More on the Provincial Emergency Program (PEP)
The PEP office is a converted warehouse discreetly located on Dalhousie Drive. Nestled between other ministry buildings, the PEP parking lot is decorated with clunky metal bear traps, weather-worn Sea-Doos and the occasional ambulance.
But the modest exterior doesn’t do the emergency headquarters justice. PEP is ready for an emergency at any time and has been organized for optimal performance using state-of-the art technology and strategically-placed equipment.
There are three important rooms in Kamloops’ PEP office: advance planning, main operations and communications.
The advance planning room is where emergency personnel collaborate and plan for the prevention of and response to future emergencies. There are shelves with binders of emergency response plans for every region in the central district, including First Nations sites. Specialty reports such as Interior Health’s pandemic recommendations and Mike Wiegle’s advice on heli-skiing rescue also have a place on the shelves.
The biggest and most impressive room is the main operations room. This is where the action happens in a real emergency.
“[We] want to be sure that whatever happens here, we are providing the best support,” Garner said.
The room is prepared for exactly that. The computers are all pre-designated to response units and ready to use. Large white boards have been mounted to every wall, with labels such as “Event board,” “EOC contact board,” and “Planning Data Board.”
“We have staff predetermined and trained in this whole area,” said Garner. “[They will] come and work here in an emergency.”
In an emergency, the personnel wear different coloured vests, each vest marking their area of expertise. This makes it easier to figure out who is who when the room is buzzing with busy, focused people.
Twice a year, PEP has a mock emergency, in unison with the five other PEP centres in British Columbia. Although the specific date is set in advance, the type of emergency is a surprise to ensure staff can work well under the pressure of unpredictable circumstances.
The main operations room also has a projector and net meeting capability, to deliver prompt information to as many sources as possible. Garner has seen 107 people on a single conference call, connecting both governments and weather experts at once.
The smallest room in PEP may be the most important. That is the radio communications room. In the event all other forms of communication shut down, this sophisticated technology can send and receive messages using packets. It’s the same concept as text messaging, except using radio waves.
The 72-Hour Emergency Kit
The following items are recommended by the Provincial Emergency Program (PEP.)
Basic supplies:
- water (2 litres per person, per day)
- non-perishable food items
- manual can opener
- flashlight and batteries
- candles and lighter or matches
- radio with extra batteries
- first aid kit
- spare house and car keys
- cash in small bills and change for pay phones
- copy of an emergency plan and contact information
- prescription medications, infant formula and other special-needs items
Additional items:
- change of clothes and footwear
- sleeping bag or blanket
- whistle
- garbage bags
- toilet paper and toiletries
- safety gloves
- basic tools
- portable stove and fuel
- two additional litres of water per person
Vasey also suggests:
- spoon
- novel
- sweater
- a plan for going to the bathroom
